Answering the Call

supramundane (soo-pruh-MUN-dayn) adjective

Above or beyond this world.

This whole week's been ridiculously stressful: It took me two nights to accurately submit an application for a job, during which I had to call old coworkers for references; regular evening storms have jarred me awake two out of three past nights; I'm blocked at a current spot in my play, that, in addition, has proven that I don't know what the hell I'm doing with Final Draft; my friend Justin is moving to LA this weekend and my friend Nate's in town from Arizona, making my ability to spend enough time with both of them super difficult; I have two auditions next week that I'm only half prepared for; and, all day at my job, all I can think about is my upcoming vacation. So, this morning, all that's on my mind--how's tonight's plan going to work? what's that line after Bruce talks about the gasman the first time? what if I put Act II in an interrogation room?--and then, while I'm opening up the office safe, the phone rings. At 9:15 AM, the only reason someone calls the desk line is to say they'll be late, an appointment took too long, slept in, loads of traffic, etc. That's what I expected; that's just what you expect. I picked up the phone, answered, and a coworker responds asking me if I'm the manager on duty. I am. Then voice starts to waver and she can barely say the words, "My aunt died."

Every ounce of stress from this week, every moment of tearing my hair, of staring at a computer thinking hard about the next sentence or an old job title or whatever, dissolved. Nothing, nothing compares to grief, to loss. What's so scary about all the bullshit I'm concerned with? What's so frightening? What's so overwhelming about all my human diversions? My God, have I lost focus? Someone I know, that I see almost every day, lost family, and I'm worrying about memorizing a couple pages of fiction?

Stress, worry--such self-imposed notions, such grey emotions. Life, love--so articulate in their expression. Yet, with which do I spend more time?