Wednesday, November 15, 2006

The First Weight Is Lifted

albatross (AL-buh-tros) noun, plural albatross or albatrosses

1. Any of the Diomedeidae family of large, web-footed seabirds.

2. A persistent wearisome burden, as of guilt, for example.

I am sitting at the box office window decked in pinstriped suit pants, a white collared shirt, and a thin black tie. My hair, for once, lays parted in an appropriate location and, judging from my dirty-pane reflection, my black frames compare me to a geek henchman from the Matrix or a maybe a roadie from Weezer. Either way, the whole ensemble exists for preparation only, incomplete without the fanfare of a white, raggity, over-worn wig, a dusty old grey fedora, and an acoustic guitar. All for the sake of illuminating two preposterous characters in an evening barprov performance with my friend Matt (also donning a hairy wig and suit combination).

Then again, while gingerly dialing the phone number to my prospective apartment management company to ask about the status of the application, a thought crossed my mind: Anyone listening to this call, anyone eavesdropping with basic knowledge of my situation, may very well believe I'm wearing suitpants and ties and nice clothes simply to boost confidence, to exercise any cosmic leverage to secure a new apartment.

And when the man on the other line spoke the good news, I wondered, for just a second, if maybe, in some sort of weird way, he'd pictured me in dark rimmed glasses and sporting a thin black tie, singing back up to Rivers Cuomo.

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