First Things First

Alright. So I finally created my blog, named it as appropriately as possible, and subscribed to http://wordsmith.org for all my random word-generating needs. The whole process reminded me distinctly of my first venture into the now rigorous and, seemingly, ubiquitous feature directing me to create an apt-and-easy Username and Password for whatever site or service I find timeworthy. These security measures certainly make sense--especially given the prevalence of spamming and identity theft--but circa 1997, as a lad whose primary goals in life centered around concepts like "cool" and "free-throw", the Username and Password presented itself as a nearly insurmountable personal challenge: Write a unique word that represents YOU. Really, to a teenager, demanding a character-specific self-imposed label is like a teacher declaring, "Okay, class. Today I want you to write a one-word personal essay describing all of your talents, interests, and aspirations. It may also include a number. After class, we will read them aloud in social judgment."

It's even more complicated than that, actually. I remember sitting at the public library and sifting through what seemed like a million word combinations, each one more brilliant than the next, each one inevitably already in use by some creative demigod or, worse, some asshole email name collector. In all honesty, I think that the process of creating of my first email address taught me the true lesson of metaphor. My email search could've easily ended with Zach7882@hotmail.com, but I wanted a representation, something that I could write on the back of a notebook that would register a new or immediate recall of me. Something special, something individual, something applicable.

And when all of those were taken, I took a color I liked, something that sounded cool, and separated it with an underscore: sapphire_haze@hotmail.com